Vin’s expression plainly revealed his misery and worry. He turned away from us and ran his hand repeatedly along Artie’s neck while the 17.2hh gelding, unconcerned by the conversation happening around him, tucked enthusiastically into his morning hay net. Tyson, Artie’s Thoroughbred loan companion of the last eight years, stood alongside him enjoying the winter sunshine. Vin knew their time with him was coming to a close, as both were elderly and beginning to display health conditions – but he wasn’t ready for his deeply beloved horses to depart just yet. The decision wasn’t going to be made today.
By the time Vin’s partner Sonia rang the BHS for advice in January 2020, they had, by their own account, talked themselves round in circles. Although the difficulties of managing Artie’s Cushing’s symptoms and keeping weight on Tyson were starting to stack up and become a source of stress, there was no acute welfare issue, and they generally still looked to be enjoying their long, comfortable retirement.
While Sonia and Vin were in total agreement that quality, not quantity, of life was their key priority, and also that both horses should go together, pinpointing the stage of decline when they should book euthanasia was proving impossible.
Sonia’s request for advice was passed to Sharon, a BHS ‘Friends at the End’ (FATE) volunteer. FATE volunteers are BHS Welfare Advisers who have attended specialist training to help them support owners through their horse’s last stage of life, assisting with objective assessment of quality of life, and exploring all the available options. They aren’t there to take the place of a counsellor or vet, but they offer an extra source of practical support and advice.
Sharon spoke with Sonia and Vin over the phone before arranging to meet with them and Tyson’s owner Susie, who was happy to advise, but who felt that decisions concerning Tyson should now rest with his long-term carers Vin and Sonia.
Vin acknowledged he was having a desperately hard time contemplating the loss of his companions. His entire day was structured around their care, and he felt that both horses being retired meant that he was closer to them. “When you’re riding you don’t have as much time to spend being a bit more present with them - handling them, brushing them, talking to them. You get more attached to old timers, or I think so, anyway. Time up here is special.”
Delayed death is a major welfare issue, as it’s hard to spot gradual decline. It’s vital to be aware of degenerative problems and be aware that these things can slide if you’re not watchful.
FATE volunteer Sharon says “The FATE service means that there are trained volunteers to talk to if you’re concerned or have questions about the best way to approach things. Talking things through with someone who isn’t emotionally involved can be helpful. Whichever way your decision then goes, you’ve had that space to think about it and discuss it. Support with euthanasia on the day is the key support we offer to some owners, but for others it can be about needing to discuss the different stages and timing, and being able to clear their mind."
Both Sonia and Vin felt that the Friends at the End service had been invaluable when they made their final decision in Spring 2021. “We’d come to a dead end and didn’t know what to do,” said Vin. “I thought an outside view helped.” “Talking it through with somebody, we said things that we’d not said to each other, really,” agrees Sonia. “You’re able to do that with someone you don’t really know, who’s sympathetic and professional.”
So, when is it time to say a final farewell to your horse? There’s sometimes no straightforward, easy answer, but the BHS Friends at the End service is here to support every owner through their decision making process. No-one should have to face the loss of their equine companion alone.
British Horse would like to sincerely thank Vin and Sonia, who generously allowed us access and insight into their difficult journey.
Read the full article
The full article "A final farewell: is it time?" originally appeared in the Summer 2021 issue of British Horse, the BHS membership magazine. If you're not already a member, join today to get your copy.
Learn more about Friends at the End
We offer free, confidential support to horse owners, carers, sharers, and loaners before, during and after the death or loss of a horse, for example, a loan horse returning back to their owner. The BHS Friends at the End team can be contacted by phone or email, and you’ll receive support from trained BHS staff or volunteers.
